The Tunnel Of Love

In the adventure of mothering it’s often hard to find the time (or energy) to make our way to the “Tunnel of Love”. Our focus is (often all consumingly so) on the needs and desires of our children, and those needs and desires can take us on any number of “rides” each day. It is easy to neglect our own needs, including our need for love, and for a romantic relationship with our spouse. It’s easy to fall into routine and let our day to day dealings with one another define our marriage. Taking the time to be together; to truly enjoy one another, can seem a daunting task – something that is somehow less important than “the rest” of our responsibilities. But think of this verse from Mark:

Mark 10:9 “Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate” (NIV)

Many marriage ceremonies include this verse and hearing it brings happy thoughts of joy, love and pride to my heart. I am honestly blessed with a wonderful husband and we both are dedicated to our marriage, but we’ve learned over the last ten years that being married isn’t easy, and being married with kids… well, that’s even harder! During our wedding ceremony I heard that verse and in my mind thought of the “man” simply as some other person trying to come between us, but now, I see how easy it can be to let our own neglect be that “man” trying to separate us. The only way I know to prevent that separation is to make sure that we make time for each other on a regular basis. Time that is just ours – no kids, no friends… just US! We can’t always “get away”, either time or money (and some times both) can be in short supply, and when both happen to be available at the same time the energy is often lacking. We don’t have a date night every week (but I admire those who do!) and often “our time” is that precious quiet after the boys are in bed. A couple of hours spent together discussing the day’s events or watching a movie (or television show) together. However, with Valentine’s Day approaching I’ve been looking for fun (easy, and cheap) romantic ideas to help show my love. There are many ideas out there, but here are a few that I wanted to share:

Valentines Memories – buy a box of valentines cards (the kind school kids pass out to their class), on each envelope write “Remember when…” and then on the back of each card finish the sentence with a fun memory that the two of you share.

SHMILY – leave a little note “See How Much I Love You” for your husband to find, make a game of it, take turns hiding the note where you know the other will come across it, each time it’s found it will serve as a reminder of the love you share for one another.

Learn Something New – take a class together (Ralph’s in Tiffin and Fremont offer one day/night cooking classes), rent (or borrow from the library) a biography or documentary and watch it together, read to one another, attend a Bible study or retreat together.

Have FUN! – play a game together, challenge one another to board games, card games, even a quick game of tic-tac-toe! Watch a funny movie or go to a comedy performance together, and enjoy each other’s laughter.

No matter how you choose to spend time together, the most important thing is that you DO find the time for each other. So go ahead, get in line… the Tunnel of Love is a GREAT ride!! Not only are we strengthing our relationship with our spouse, our children benefit from seeing the love that we share with our spouse so, by putting yourself first once in a while, we are teaching them to do the same when they too become parents one day.

The gift of graciously receiving

"Every good and perfect gift is from above…"
James 1:17

During this time of abundant giving, I some times find myself struggling to be a gracious recipient. Throughout the Bible there are reminders to the importance of giving; giving of ourselves, giving of our gifts and abilities, giving of our fortunes, giving to those less fortunate, giving to those we love. Moreover, we know that giving is a gift in and of itself. We find excitement in giving; it brings us joy and pleasure. As mothers, we spend most of our days in a state of near constant giving. However, when we find ourselves on the receiving end, it can often be an uncomfortable situation. We say things like “oh, you shouldn’t have” and “it’s really too much”. We feel the need to reciprocate, and look for a way to “pay back” the giver, even knowing that when we ourselves give, we do so because we want to gift that person in some way, bring them happiness, and show our love or appreciation. Still, there is a feeling of reluctance to receive. In reading the beginning of James 1:17 “Every good and perfect gift is from above…” I started to think of how important it is to be a gracious recipient. Offering a gift is like offering yourself, and those who are giving to us, are doing so out of their own desire to share their love and joy with us. A desire to share their gifts from above; gifts given to them by the grace of God, and passed along to us with an open heart and generous spirit. A gift given blesses both the receiver and the giver, but only if we are gracious in receiving it. Without our grace, we steal the joy of giving from our friends or family members who are so sweetly offering themselves to us. I have decided to make a strong effort this season to accept the gifts of others with grace, for in gracefully accepting their gift, I am also accepting their love.

A Gift for the Ringmaster

Thoughts of Christmas always lead to memories of years gone by, fun holiday traditions and spending time with family and friends. But amid those thoughts of holiday joys I also start thinking of the less fortunate. Those who will rely on the kindness of strangers to be able to celebrate this holiday season. While searching out a verse on giving I came across the story in Matthew (25:31-40) of the Sheep and the Goats, and while it may be a stretch (and was no doubt inspired in large part by our theme of Adventures in Mothering), I began to imagine the scene inside a big circus tent, Jesus was in the center ring , and with all the showmanship of a veteran ringmaster he calls out to the crowd telling them of the reward for their good deeds and explaining “...whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.” (Matthew 25:40). I go on to imagine that if Jesus were to make a list of “wishes” for his birthday, our generosity and compassion to those in need; would no doubt be near the top of that list. With the economy what it is, and so many of us struggling, please take time to remember, what may be a small gesture to you, could mean the world to someone else. And, as parents, what better gift can we give to our children than the gift of a generous spirit. They learn so much by watching us, and we can forever impact the lives of not just our own children, but also the innocent children affected so dramatically by these financially difficult times.

It’s Not Cracker Jacks—But There’s A Prize In Every Box!

It's that time again... pull out an empty shoe box, and fill it up for a needy child as part of the Operation Christmas Child program. If you aren’t familiar with Operation Christmas Child, or are unsure if you would like to participate, please consider this: Some 8 million suffering children in more than 90 countries on six continents will receive personal, gift-filled shoe boxes through this kids-helping-kids project. For many of these children, the shoe box gift will be the first gift they have ever received. Operation Christmas Child began in the United States in 1993 with 28,000 shoe box gifts. Since that time, the kids-helping-kids project has collected more than 61 million shoe box gifts and hand-delivered them to needy children in some 130 countries. Find out more here: http://www.samaritanspurse.org/index.php/occ/

Bounce House Blessings

With the holidays quickly approaching my thoughts naturally turn to the many blessings I have to be thankful for. It’s easy to run down the list of “big” one, the boys, our home, the food we eat, our health. But in reading 1 Thessalonians 5:18 “In everything give thanks” I begin to think about the smaller things, like “I’m thankful we are able to set the bounce house up in the bonus room so that the boys can burn off their extra energy in the winter without literally bouncing off the walls of our living room” … and “I’m thankful for that moment on Saturday morning, when the boys are all curled up together on the couch watching cartoons, perfectly content and happy”… then I wonder, ‘am I teaching them to be thankful, do they know how blessed they are?’ It’s not easy in a “world of plenty” to teach kids to recognize; and be truly thankful for, all of the wondrous gifts they have been given. So, I did some research online and found some great articles, filled with not only suggestions and tips, but thankfully some reassurances that we are already doing many of the “right” things. There seemed to be three or four areas that all the articles touched on… limiting monetary or material rewards, and instead giving love and praise—a child who is given a reward for every “achievement” will come to expect rather than appreciate the gift. Second that children who are given responsibilities around their own home gain a better understand of the value of things, and tend to be more grateful for what they themselves have. Third that by encouraging children to help in the community or to support charitable causes we are helping them to; by seeing the plight of others less fortunate that we are, understand how truly blessed they are. The final thing that everyone seemed to agree on was that the most important thing we can do as parents is to teach by example. Showing gratitude to others, staying positive in even the most difficult moments by finding the (possibly hidden) blessing, and remembering to openly say prayers of thanksgiving for not only the BIG glorious gifts from God, but also the little ones, the ones that makes each day it’s own blessing.

The Gift of Face Paint

1 Corinthians 13:6-7, “Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” (NIV)

As a mother, I some times lose focus on what a very important role I play in the circus of our daily life. I begin feeling overwhelmed and under-valued. I wonder about my identity. I recently had the idea that being a mother is much like being a clown… I’m not “Julie” anymore, I’m hidden behind the face paint of “MOM”. I love being Mom, but it’s easy to get distracted by the chaos of it all and forget that MOM is not just a title - it’s a gift, a gift of love. I came across this verse from 1 Corinthians and while reading it I started replacing “love” with “Mom” … and found it very comforting. I do rejoice in truth, and not in evil, I protect my children and would gladly give my life for theirs. I trust in the Lord and His plans for me and my family, I am a hopeful cheerleader—encouraging my children to be their best. And, with God’s guidance I too will persevere, because I am MOM; a loving gift from God to my sweet children.

When they move from the Carousel to the Tilt-A-Whirl

Some times it’s hard to let them grow up.

I recently picked up the book: Meditations for Mothers (Moments with God amidst a busy nest) by Elisa Morgan (president/CEO of MOPS) and in flipping through the pages I came upon a prayer that touched me deeply.


Dear God, help me understand that my goal as a mother is to raise a child to independence from me and dependence on You. Give me the courage to cooperate with the unfluffing process, even when I would rather stay cozy in the soft places of my nest.

~ Elisa Morgan ~


It reminded me of a struggle I had a few weeks earlier while preparing for the beginning of a new chapter in our family’s story; Hayden’s first day at Kindergarten. I was having difficult time with the idea of letting my baby boy, my first born son, my sweet sensitive child, go off into the world—the big, scary, and some times mean world without me! I turned to “The Birth of Moses” Exodus 2:1-10 and thought how much harder it must have been for his mother than for me, I kept thinking over and over; “when she could no longer keep him hidden, she sent him off - how painful it must have been for her.” I knew that she had no way of knowing the great plan God had for Moses, and he was such a tiny baby when she had to make the decision to let him go. I went to sleep that night knowing that it would be a rough morning, but that I was raising my son for God. I could not keep him from growing up; all I could do was help him grow into the kind of person he would one day be proud to have become, the kind of man God wants him to be. I wish I would have found Elisa’s Meditations for Mothers before school started this year, but I have a feeling there are going to be many more days—much sooner than I am even now ready to admit, that I will benefit from this prayer. As mothers we strive to hold our children close, keep them safe, ensure they know just how deeply they are loved, and how important they are. It becomes so very easy to forget that our job, our goal as parents, is to prepare our children, these little gifts, for the purpose that God has chosen. We watch them grown from helpless little infant, into a baby crawling around, then to a toddler taking first steps, a preschooler chasing friends around the yard and then elementary student heading off to school, the list goes on and on. The years go by so quickly and every time we turn around, we have to give up a little bit of our hold on them, handing over to them a little more independence from us. Nevertheless, because we are strong, because we have taught them; through our words and actions, to depend on the power of God, we know they are ready. Like Moses’ mother we too know that God will be there watching over our children. And luckily, we also know that (unlike Moses’ mother) we will be there for our children if they waiver, if they fall – we are not sending them off to a life without us, we are simply stepping back and letting them use the skills we have given then. We must put our fait in God and trust his plans for them, and for us. It’s not always easy, and quite honestly it some times hurts, but in the end our reward is great.